TGIF

Just a quick blog update before I head to bed after a long but productive week. It's taken some time, but I'm finally feeling better after Tuesday's port insertion.  It was very sore and painful for a few days, though.  I can already see, however, that the port is essential for someone going through chemo since I was able to use it for the heart scan I had on Thursday.  In this scan, they had to take out some of my blood, inject it with radioactive dye (yes, I got to glow again) and then put it back into my body to get a baseline of my heart function before chemo.  The port made this entire process almost completely pain-free and has allowed me to rank this procedure as my best one so far (yes - sadly, I'm ranking procedures now). Other cancer-related fun of the week included a consultation with a cosmetologist at the hospital (where I ordered some items to use once I lose my hair), a few other minor appointments, and the results from my first round of genetic testing (negative for the BRCA mutation - but they will do a couple of additional rounds of tests to see if anything turns up).  My case was also discussed at a weekly breast care conference where all of the cancer specialists from the area attend and review several patients each week. It's kind of like getting a second and third opinion in one meeting.  My care coordinator followed up with me after the conference and said everyone was on board with my treatment plan (chemo first, then surgery) and said they all sounded very positive about my prognosis.  Finally, Ed and I also talked to Owen earlier this week about my cancer and tried to position it in a very age-appropriate way.  He seemed to take it pretty well and enjoyed discussing the "bad cells" in my body but over the following days has expressed a lot of concern about me losing my hair.  He seems ok overall, though, and his kindergarten teacher is being wonderful about keeping a close eye on him and keeping me updated on whether he's exhibiting any anxiety about this at school.

Between all of these appointments, I have managed to complete my first full week of work! For anyone who doesn't know what I do, I'm an HR Information Systems Analyst, which means I work with the online systems that larger companies use to manage their human resources processes (employee data management, benefits, payroll, recruitment, performance management, etc). My new company is quite a bit smaller than the one I previously worked for, but they're giving me a lot of freedom to assess their current processes and systems and make recommendations for change.  Definitely a challenge! While I know it's going to take me a while to get up to speed (particularly with needing to be out of the office at times), I've enjoyed my first week a lot.  Everyone is extremely nice, as well as willing to pitch in and help me out when I need to be out of work.  I have a feeling that working is going to be a really good distraction for me as I go through the chemo process, and I feel very fortunate to be working at a company that is so supportive. It's also great to work so close to home now - makes the logistics of all of these appointments so much easier.

So all in all, we're hanging in there.  While on one hand I'm dreading the start of chemo next week (and the potential side effects), the other part of me has realized that maybe I'll start to feel better mentally in some ways one I actually start the chemo.  There's a part of my brain that is constantly worrying about the spread of this cancer, and I think I might be able to calm it down once I feel like I'm finally doing something to kill those "bad cells".  So I'm off to enjoy this final, fun weekend before the chaos begins - I'll post pictures from tomorrow's parties sometime soon.  Thanks again so much to all of you for all of your support and kindness.  I can't even begin to explain how much it means to me.  I even received a package from some former co-workers in the Netherlands the other day - I was blown away by the effort they went to to let me know they were thinking of me! It's going to be a long journey but hopefully we'll make it.